Memories
by ShootingStarIsFree
Summary: Sirius volunteers to be the first to tackle a dementor in Defence Against the Dark Arts, but finds it more difficult than expected. But luckily, he has Remus to help comfort him when his worst memory gets to him. Wolfstar! One-shot.


A hooded figure was coming towards him and suddenly Sirius regretted volunteering to go first to fight the dementor in their Defence Against the Dark Arts class.

Suddenly, he wasn't seeing the classroom with the familiar faces of his peers; instead he could see his mother. It was the day he ran away, and she was raising her wand and casting the cruciatus curse on him. Then, she took the curse off and Sirius looked up; she had raised her wand over her head again and the pure contempt in her eyes warned Sirius what was coming next. A flash of green light narrowly missed him.

"Sirius!" a voice was calling him, "Sirius!"

He opened his eyes, he was kneeling down. When did that happen?

Sirius rapidly felt ashamed, he was the top of this class and he'd just made a total fool of himself. If he had taken the time to look around at the faces of the other pupils, he would have seen they were all worried looking and scared.

There had been charms around a small area so only the person trying to repel the dementor would feel its power, but the rest of the class had seen him fall to his knees, and though he wasn't aware of it, but he was shaking.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Remus asked, looking at him. He was right next to him, a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah," he muttered, feeling embarrassed, he stood up, "I'm fine,"

"Some people are just affected more by the dementors than others, nothing to worry about," the professor said, offering a kind smile. Although, Sirius did not appreciate this comment as it only added to his embarrassment.

Still feeling thoroughly shaken and slightly ill, he walked straight out the class, making his way to the dormitory almost blindly and falling down on the nearest bed, which was Remus'.

A while later, Remus came into the room. He lay down next to his boyfriend on his bed. Sirius was awake, but he didn't really want to talk right now.

"Here," Remus said, pressing a chocolate bar into Sirius' hand as he opened his eyes, "eat it. It'll help."

Sirius offered him a small smile, "chocolate doesn't fix everything, Moony."

"Does too," Remus replied, smiling back, "but really, it does help."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but took a bite of the chocolate bar anyway and felt instantly better, warmth flooded him and he felt happier. He buried his face into Remus' neck and felt his arms wrap around him.

"I made a complete arse of myself," he muttered.

"Not really," Remus answered.

"Yes, really, how did the rest of the class do?"

"There wasn't really much," Remus said, "James managed a white smoke thing but that was the best. His worst memories won't be as bad, though, that's probably why he was able to."

Sirius sighed, "what about you?"

"Oh, I didn't do it," Remus muttered, looking a little embarrassed himself now.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, looking up at him as he suddenly realised that Remus was back from class early too, it was a double lesson.

"I, um, I didn't want to," he answered.

Sirius nodded, he understood. He knew that Remus' worst memory would be the night he was bitten and he can't remember much about it, but dementors brought those memories back, clear and crisp.

"What did you see?" Remus questioned, quietly and not really expecting an answer.

Sirius took a deep breath, "my mother, on the night I ran away…"

Remus nodded this time, Sirius had told him that she had beaten him and used the cruciatus curse on him, but he knew there was something else he wasn't telling him.

"I-I didn't tell you before," Sirius whispered, looking away from Remus' face, "but… she tried to, um, kill me…"

There was a pause and Remus opened his mouth to say something, but what do you say to your boyfriend after he confesses his own mother tried to murder him?

After a minute, he just hugged Sirius tighter, "I'm so sorry," he murmured.

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said, hugging him back, "it was two years ago, I don't care about them anymore."

Remus always got worried about the emotionless way Sirius spoke about his family, but it was a difficult topic for him, so he didn't press him.

"Okay," Remus said, not really knowing what else to say.

That night, after James and Peter were asleep, Sirius slipped out of his bed and into Remus'.

Remus automatically wrapped his arms around him and Sirius knew he was safe from all horrid memories of his insane mother.

And, sure enough, the next day, when Sirius had a second try at the Patronus Charm he managed to produce a full one. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it was obvious that it took the form of a wolf.

* * *

Author's note- well, my most creative time of day seems to be two in the morning as this is another story I wrote at that time. Please review and any mistakes in grammar, spelling and overall plot I blame on lack of sleep.


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